Michael Sherbun Highlights Why Traditional Conflict Resolution Often Overlooks Human Behavior
Drawing on 37 years of behavioral health experience, the Olympia, Washington, professional explains why understanding
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Drawing on 37 years of behavioral health experience, the Olympia, Washington, professional explains why understanding the motivations behind difficult behavior can help families, schools, and workplaces manage conflict more effectively.
OLYMPIA, WA / ACCESS Newswire / November 10, 2026 / Michael Sherbun, a behavioral health professional and former healthcare executive with more than 37 years of experience, is encouraging individuals and organizations to reconsider how they approach conflict resolution. Drawing on decades of work in psychiatric hospitals, healthcare leadership, and behavioral training, Sherbun believes that resolving disagreements requires more than choosing the right words or encouraging people to remain calm.
According to Sherbun, many traditional approaches to conflict resolution focus on managing the visible disagreement without fully examining the emotions, expectations, and motivations influencing the people involved.
“When someone becomes defensive or refuses to cooperate, our first instinct is often to focus on what they are saying or doing,” Sherbun explains. “But if we do not understand what is driving that reaction, we may end up addressing the behavior without making much progress on the actual problem.”
Sherbun has spent much of his professional career working with individuals experiencing behavioral health challenges and leading organizations responsible for providing psychiatric and mental health services. His experience includes senior leadership positions with Ascend Healthcare, Signature Healthcare, Providence Health, and US Healthvest.
He has also helped train more than 150 school, juvenile detention, and group home programs in approaches to managing challenging behavior and de-escalating difficult situations.
These experiences have influenced his belief that effective conflict resolution begins with understanding how people interpret situations, particularly when they feel threatened, powerless, or misunderstood.
Why the Visible Disagreement May Not Be the Real Problem
Sherbun explains that disagreements often become more complicated when people feel they are losing control over a situation or believe their concerns are being dismissed.
A teenager who argues with a parent about household rules may be reacting to a perceived lack of independence. An employee who challenges a supervisor’s decision may be concerned about how the change will affect their responsibilities or professional standing. A family member questioning a healthcare recommendation may be struggling with uncertainty or fear.
Although these situations involve different relationships and responsibilities, Sherbun believes they share an important characteristic: the visible disagreement may not fully explain the person’s emotional response.
“Two people can be discussing the same issue while having very different experiences of the conversation,” Sherbun says. “One person may believe they are explaining a reasonable decision, while the other feels they have no voice in something that directly affects them.”
He emphasizes that understanding these reactions does not require agreeing with every objection or allowing inappropriate behavior to continue. Instead, it involves recognizing that people are more likely to participate in constructive conversations when their underlying concerns are acknowledged.
Lessons From Behavioral Health and Crisis De-Escalation
Throughout his career, Sherbun has worked in environments where professionals must respond to challenging behavior while maintaining clear expectations and protecting everyone’s safety.
In psychiatric hospitals and behavioral health programs, staff members regularly encounter situations where individuals may be frightened, frustrated, overwhelmed, or unwilling to cooperate.
Sherbun believes these environments show why relying exclusively on authority or logical explanations may not work when emotions are running high.
“When someone is already overwhelmed, giving them more information or repeating an instruction does not necessarily help,” he explains. “You have to consider whether they are in a position to process what you are saying and whether your approach is making the situation easier or more difficult.”
His work training professionals in schools, juvenile detention facilities, and residential programs has reinforced the importance of recognizing the circumstances influencing a person’s behavior before deciding how to respond.
While each environment has different safety requirements and professional responsibilities, Sherbun believes the underlying principles can apply to everyday disagreements.
Parents, teachers, supervisors, and community leaders may all encounter situations where a person’s immediate reaction appears unreasonable. Understanding the emotional factors contributing to that reaction can help them respond more thoughtfully without abandoning necessary boundaries.
Resolving Conflict Without Damaging Relationships
Sherbun also encourages people to distinguish between ending a disagreement and resolving the underlying conflict.
In some situations, one person has the authority to make a final decision. A supervisor may establish a workplace expectation, a parent may enforce a household rule, or a healthcare professional may need to communicate a necessary safety requirement.
Although the immediate disagreement may end when the decision is enforced, Sherbun notes that the relationship can still be affected by how the conversation was handled.
“Getting someone to agree with you is not always the same as resolving the conflict,” he says. “Sometimes people stop arguing because they feel there is no point in continuing. That does not necessarily mean their concerns have been addressed.”
He believes this distinction matters most in relationships where people must keep interacting after a difficult conversation.
A workplace disagreement can influence future collaboration, while repeated conflicts between parents and children can affect trust and communication within the family.
Sherbun encourages individuals to consider not only what they want to accomplish during a disagreement but also what kind of relationship they want to maintain afterward.
This does not mean avoiding accountability. In his view, clear expectations and respectful communication are not competing priorities.
“Understanding someone’s behavior does not mean excusing it,” Sherbun explains. “You can recognize why someone is upset and still be clear about what is acceptable. In many cases, that understanding helps you communicate the boundary more effectively.”
Applying Behavioral Communication Beyond Healthcare
Sherbun’s observations have contributed to his work developing The Navigator, an approach centered on The Psychology of Conversations and the relationship between human behavior and communication.
The Navigator focuses on three interconnected areas: behavioral communication and leadership, relationship-preserving de-escalation, and burnout and stress prevention.
Its broader framework addresses communication challenges across families, educational environments, workplaces, and community organizations.
Sherbun believes these areas are connected because unresolved conflict can influence more than the immediate disagreement. Repeated misunderstandings, defensive interactions, and unclear expectations may contribute to strained relationships and ongoing stress.
He encourages people to become more aware of the assumptions they make about others’ behavior, particularly when they are frustrated or under pressure.
“People often assume they understand why someone is behaving a certain way,” he says. “But we can be wrong about those assumptions. Asking ourselves what else might be influencing the situation can change how we approach the conversation.”
For Sherbun, this shift in thinking matters most in environments where people regularly manage conflict, including healthcare, education, and organizational leadership.
He believes that better understanding behavioral communication can help people recognize when their own responses may be contributing to an escalating disagreement.
A Different Measure of Successful Conflict Resolution
After decades of working in behavioral health and healthcare leadership, Sherbun has come to view successful conflict resolution as something that extends beyond reaching an immediate agreement.
He believes people should also consider whether the conversation produced greater understanding, maintained appropriate boundaries, and preserved the possibility of a constructive relationship.
Not every disagreement can be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, and some situations require firm decisions that others may not welcome. However, Sherbun maintains that how people approach those moments can shape future interactions.
“We are not going to eliminate conflict from families, schools, or workplaces,” Sherbun says. “People have different needs, expectations, and experiences. What we can improve is our ability to recognize what is happening beneath the surface and respond in ways that do not make an already difficult situation worse.”
Sherbun hopes that greater attention to the psychology behind everyday conversations will encourage individuals and organizations to move beyond viewing difficult behavior simply as resistance or unwillingness to cooperate.
By considering the human factors influencing conflict, he believes people can make more informed decisions, communicate expectations more clearly, and address disagreements without unnecessarily damaging important relationships.
About Michael Sherbun
Michael Sherbun is a behavioral health professional, former healthcare executive, author, and entrepreneur based in Olympia, Washington. With more than 37 years of experience, he has held clinical and executive leadership positions in psychiatric hospitals and healthcare organizations. He earned a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Purdue University and a Master of Healthcare Administration from Simmons College. His professional work includes training more than 150 school, juvenile detention, and group home programs in managing challenging behavior. Sherbun founded The Navigator, an initiative focused on behavioral communication, de-escalation, relationship preservation, and burnout prevention.
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SOURCE: Michael Sherbun
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